I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
