i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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