I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
