So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
