Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
