Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
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