i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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