sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
