you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
