he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
