Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
