Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
