i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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