in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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