She announced her abortion via fbk
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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