just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
