Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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