i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
