somebody snuck up and got me drunk
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
