Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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