8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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