There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
