Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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