New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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