it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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