whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
