Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
