If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
