shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
barbara walters just said penis...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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