best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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