it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
