that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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