I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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