I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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