Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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