You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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