I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
