covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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