we made out on top of his cat.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
