you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
