I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
