I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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