There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
