I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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