oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
