did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
