If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
