Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Even the bartender felt bad for me
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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