I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
