Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
